Well, this may be the last post for a while...

I've accepted a job doing magazine distribution for a vancover company... which, in turn means I'm going to be on the road alot... I won't be moving, but I'll be away for quite a while... it's eight weeks out, one week in... Not really much of a life, but it works.

Which, as much as I hate to say it, brings me to the reason I selected this position.

To tell you the truth, there's not a whole lot rooting me down in Prince George. I've made a few new friends, and a few enemies, but nothing too severe. I've met someone I like, but to tell you the truth while I was here I could never work up the courage to ask her on a date. As I got sicker, we drifted apart. When I finally collapsed, I broke that final connection. She has shut herself off from me, and from what seems a large part of the world. This is what happenes when people get close to me, and when I care for people. To this end, I think it would just be best if I moved on and disapeared from everywhere. If I'm never there, no one knows I exist. Probably be better that way.

The biggest thing is I have not told her... I cannot. I know if she reads this she will probably get angry... but that is a price I must pay. I have already caused too much strife and trouble because of these problems... however, no matter what way I put it, I know there is no turning back. It has to be said, one way or another.

I know, as I'm writing this, that this last step will close more doors and eventually probably lead to that horrible prediction that was given to me so many years ago, not out of fate's sake but spite and malice. It was that my problems wil cause me to loose more and more people, and things will finally spiral more and more out of controll, untill I am left alone. May people say that they would not let this happen, but I see it happening. people are leaving. and soon... very soon...

I will be alone.

And like out of some old, classic tale... not the ones with fairies and dragons... the REAL classics... "..and for the remainder of his days, those ten and five score days, deaths shadow haunted him like a cat, stalking for the kill." is how it would go I suppose... I will finally be gone and no one wil ever be able to bring me back. No retry. Nothing.

Sometimes it's better when these things happen.

One day older and another day closer to death, eh? hmph... figures.

Signing off...

    -Iron Weasle